*What I Learned Today*
Here's a list of what I learned today:
1) The average person falls in love seven times before marriage (therefore, I should've been married at least 3 times by now).
2) 50% of people think more about money than sex (yeah, men are the other 50%).
3) I should always answer the phone - 6% of marriage proposals are made by phone.
4) Champagne corks cause more fatalities than poisonous spiders.
5) 85% of people killed by lightning are male (the only ones stupid enough to be outdoors during a thunderstorm).
6) I should start drinking coffee - 10,000 marriages a year are directly traceable to romances started on a coffee break.

Things that my Ivy-League-graduate-school-education didn't teach me. All the important survival stuff. But hey, how many of you can accurately draw a grammar tree with a non-restrictive relative clause?~